Communities Within Social Society

 I believe there are communities within social networks. I won't say that they are put there intentionally all the time though. I think they sometimes form on their own. It's like people unconsciously having a gravitational pull towards something. What made you try something new on the menu the other day? You don't exactly know. It just seemed to happen. Same goes for some communities formed. Also though, there are communities that are deliberately set up. Sort of how there is the option to create lists on Twitter. It's optional. I would say that I'm not exactly in a community. I'm a very broad minded person and sameness is somewhat repulsive to me so I like to have a hand in many different things. 

So Far

    In Mr. Lawhead's class we were given the assignment to blog about what we have learned in his class. With it being the class I haven't missed more than one day in, I think I'm well equipped to complete this assignment. I believe the first thing I learned was that there is more to the social media world than simply Twitter and Instagram. That was definitely an important lesson. I like to think that Storify was really an interesting discovery. I think it's pretty unique in that you can link it to any social media outlet. Hootsuite was also something I learned about. I won't say that I've learned everything there is to know about this particular app. Honestly, I'm still quite confused about it purpose. I do know that it is supposed to be more organized. I've gotten a little better with it. At first I was completely confused. What goes where and how to get to things? But, basically, Mr. Lawhead has taught me that social media reflects on you as a person in many fields and it can either hinder you or help you. You have to know how to use it to your advantage or your advantages will be taken away.

Imprinted Souls Radio

A friend of mine has a radio show. Each day of the week there is a different show with its own topic. Wednesday shows are called "#HonestyHour". For this particular show, listeners can submit questions to be talked about. Since I am a part of the team, I submitted a question. It wasn't really a question; more or less a simple statement to be talked about further. I wanted peoples' opinion on stud on stud relationships. For those of you who do not know, a "stud" is a lesbian who takes on a more "masculine" or "aggressive" side than their counterpart. The reason why the topic of stud on stud relationships is  controversial is because so many people think that studs should only date femmes ("femmes" are lesbians who take on the more "girly" side). Personally, I believe that love is love and whoever judges someone's relationship based on how it looks from the outside is simply taking themselves way too seriously. In a heterosexual relationship people don't judge like that. Is it because there are labels in the gay community? Are there no labels in the heterosexual realm? Bad boys, good girls, preacher's kids, preppies, etc. I really don't see much of a difference. Makes you wonder if "being different" is really THAT bad to the point that every faction must be looked at under a microscope and then criticized. *shakes head*

By the way, my friend's radio show is not only about homosexuality. Not even. It is very open minded and opinionated. There is no censorship. There is a show every day of the week. As we always say: you can definitely find one that fits you. Monday is "Beautiful People", which is about empowerment and positivity. Tuesday is "Debate Team", where controversial topics are debated on. Wednesday is "#HonestyHour and Soul Therapy". Thursday is the most amazing show of the week: "Poetry Night", where people recite poetry, freestyle, and sing. Friday is "The Weekly Cool". Saturday shows rotate. If you're ever bored with nothing to do around nine at night, I highly recommend calling in. You won't regret it. 760.888.5871

A Date with an Engaged Woman

** Don't be offended by my title.. Admittedly I have been on dates with an engaged woman before though...Don't judge me lol ^.^ **

               The interview wasn’t long at all. “I only have about five questions, if that’s okay,” I said while setting up my notebook and note pad. “That’s okay,” Ms. Calvasina replied.

                I was just about to get off of the elevator on the floor of my dorm when my phone rang. I switched my Walgreens bag over to my left hand to answer it. “Hello?” “Hey. This is Holly Calvasina. How are you?” was the reply. I automatically smiled, thankful that the voice sounded nice in the least. “Hey.  I’m Brooke Allen. It’s a pleasure to talk to you. I’m well. How are you?” We got out our greetings and friendliness then jumped into the reason for the call.

                After I retrieved my notes, I headed to the floor lobby and sat at a table. I could hear that Ms. Calvasina was already settled and comfortable. 

As I asked my first question, I was slightly nervous but my counterpart sounded quite comfortable. I almost asked if she did this all the time. For the record, Ms. Calvasina is a lesbian. She also is engaged. Of course I broke the professionalism of the interview to congratulate her. The happiness of the event was in her voice immediately. I could hear the smile in her “thank you”.

                “Traditional stereotypes; ‘man hater’, ‘I couldn’t get a man’, ‘I haven’t met the right man’, ‘it’s just a phase’, ‘being a feminist lead to being a lesbian’ are the ones I always hear.” I’ve heard all the stereotypes myself so of course I laughed with her. Ms. Calvasina and I both agreed that we hate the fact that men hit on lesbians in public. Like, why? 

                “How can it be a phase when I’m engaged to another female? We’ve been together for six years.” Admittedly, Ms. Calvasina sounded a little heated with that statement. I can understand her sentiments though. It seems as though if one ever goes against the grain of society’s standards, then it must be just rebellion. It won’t last as some think. Some people just have a different route that they prefer in life. They have chosen a different lifestyle.

                “Do you find any of the stereotypes to be true?” “Not all of the stereotypes; some are true to some people, individually. Some women do hate men. For some women, it may be a phase.” Of course there are always exceptions to the rules. Some people are the reason for the stereotypes. 

                “I believe people are straight until proven gay.” Ms. Calvasina’s statement caught me so off guard. We both laughed. Ms. Calvasina went on to say that the labeling of sexuality is made up in our minds. “It’s easier for society to create labels. Sexuality can be a spectrum.” I was really interested in the metaphors and answer to the question “Do you think any of the stereotypes that homosexuals face transfer into heterosexuality?”  Ms. Calvasina said that it was a good question. That made me smile.

                I was glad to talk to someone like Ms. Calvasina about my blog topic, but I did not want to be selfish while talking to her. My last question was about her blog. 

“Why did you start your blog?” “My blog is a part of a bigger picture. I’m trying to develop a starting base because I’m working on a book. I want to see what reaches the people and find my narrative voice.” I support anyone and everything if it’s positive. I told her I would definitely read a book by her.

I thoroughly enjoyed talking with Ms. Calvasina. She is such a nice woman. Our conversation was not completely professional which I loved. We talked as though we’d known each other for a long time. We laughed and agreed with each other throughout the entire phone call. Before we said our goodbyes, I congratulated her on her engagement again and wished her luck on her future book. “Thank you for your time. I enjoyed talking to you. Enjoy the rest of your day.” She expressed the same sentiments and we ended the call.

An Interview that Sparked a Young Mind

Around 4:56 I received a phone call from an unknown number. "Hello?" "Hey this is Holly Calvasina." That is how it started.

"I won't take up too much of your time.""It's no problem," Ms. Calvasina said with a slight laugh.

Honestly, excuse my gayness, but Ms. Calvasina sounds really attractive over the phone. I'm just throwing that out there.

I immediately jumped into the questions. There were only a few; five in total.

1."What would you consider yourself when it comes to labels?"
I am a female who is in a relationship with another female. (lesbian) By the way, Ms. Calvasina has been with her significant other for 6 years and she is engaged currently. Congratulations to her :)

2. "What stereotypes do you come in contact with having the label of a lesbian?"
Ms. Calvasina replied to this question by saying that it was kind of complicated, but that most of the stereotypes are the traditional ones. Ex: "man hater", "couldn't get a man", the INFAMOUS " you haven't met the right man", "it's a phase", "being a feminist led to becoming a lesbian" It was also mutually agreed that men hitting on lesbians in public is annoying. Ugh.

3. "Do you find any of the stereotypes to be true?"
Most of the stereotypes aren't true, but for the ones that are true, they're true only because they are true when pertaining to some individuals.

4. "Do you think that the stereotypes you are faced with can transfer into heterosexuality?"
"Straight until proven gay." **KUDOS for this quote. Hands down the best quote I've ever heard.** I'm very glad that I asked this question. The answer was very interesting. Ms. Calvasina told me that the labeling of sexuality is made up in our minds. "It's easier for society to create labels." The metaphor she used was "sexuality is a spectrum". So true. I wish I could've gotten Ms. Calvasina's answer to this question word for word. I was really interested with it.

The interview couldn't be solely about me and my blog topic, so of course I had to end the interview by asking about Ms. Calvasina's blog.

5. "What made you start your blog?"
I could hear the animation in Ms. Calvasina's voice as she answered the question. She began to tell me that her blog is a part of  a bigger picture. SHE PLANS TO WRITE A BOOK EVERYONE! The blog's mission is to develop a starting base, see what reaches the people and to establish a narrative voice.


I have never conducted an interview. I must say that the interview was very fun. Ms. Holly Calvasina is a nice woman with a great personality. I thoroughly enjoy speaking with her. Ya'll should definitely check out her blog http://femme-inistmanifesto.blogspot.com

Differing Views of the Young

"Girls really need to want what it is that they constantly ask for." 

     That statement was the thing that made our conversation go from joking to serious in 2.5 seconds. Liz responded first by telling Xavier that "maybe guys should be more willing to provide what girls ask for so that we don't have to settle." She put emphasis on the word "settle". I honestly did not know Liz and Xavier from Eve and Adam. I did not want to get into what would usually be a huge argument between less level'-headed individuals. I kept my hands at ten and two on the steering wheel and eyes on the road ahead of us.

     Liz turned to me and asked for my opinion on the matter. I said it straight: "You can't truly want something if you aren't willing to accept it when it's offered." We were getting on the interstate when I said this. I remember a black Acura pulling into the lane to the left of me when I said that. It felt like a metaphor for what was happening with our conversation:moving into a different lane; the feeling that things were changing.

     Amidst the things that were said, we interjected our reasoning with personal experiences. "Of course there are times when girls settle because they simple don't understand their worth yet," Liz said. "I remember when I used to just let anyone do anything because I didn't know any better." A million things played through my head. "My past is filled with examples that back up this entire situation. I always put other peoples' worth above my own so I was in the same boat as you." Xavier blandly stated that guys' "self-worth" never measures up to women's'. Liz, who , I will interject, would be a phenomenal women's activist, immediately jumped on the statement by saying, "Women are expected to go through so much: be strong, give birth, love fiercely, yet still be the submissivwe and bow to their man."

     At this point, after we have through some comments that given us somewhat of a feel of each others character, we are speaking quite freely on how we feel. Xavier, probably in fear of getting jumped by both me and Liz if he made the wrong move with this topic of discussion, quickly cleared up what he meant. "I'm all for women who are strong in their own right. There are some women who are strong without a man justifying their strength. Women shouldn't need a man to be strong anyway." "I agree," I said. "Why depend on someone who is possibly just a variable in your life? Some women are potentially strong but weak in the mind."

     As we pulled into the Krystal parking lot, Liz was telling us about a girl who was so dependent on  the guy she was talking to that she did not realize that he was clearly no good. The story was about a girl who was talking to a guy who had five kids and that she did not want the guy to leave so that she was willing to have his sixth child. I was appalled. "Does she not see that he evidently doesn't so well with pulling out or responsibility?" We all laughed. A comic relief was necessary. The conversation was getting deep.

     Somewhere along the way we got onto the topic of cheating. Xavier and I both said that we had never cheated but had been cheated on. Liz admitted that she had been on both sides of the fence when dealing with cheating. She told us about how the initial boyfriend had no idea the cheating was going on. Apparently the guy she was cheating with had a girlfriend as well and they were friends to begin with. We all had varying views on the topic of cheating. We did all agree that we would not do it. As for Liz, she simply said that she wouldn't do it again. She said that she learned her lesson.

     "The thing was that he didn't know that I was cheating. It went on for about three months without notice. I ended it because I just didn't want it anymore." Xavier had to lean forward and ask Liz how she did it. I laughed, "The thing that guys don't realize is that girls are way sneakier. Not saying that all girls cheat or even that they will. I just know that girls are more analytical than guys. We can sense that a guy is lying before he even finishes his alibi." "I mean," Xavier paused to figure out how to word his reply. "Women are more emotional though." "So?" Liz asked. "Emotional or not, women can separate emotions from sex and cheating. With a guy, it's written all over him. When a guy is cheating, while he's with his girlfriend, he's thinking about the girl he's cheating with and his girlfriend will definitely see it."

     "I think guys just get clumsy. You know how hard it must be to cheat? All of that work trying to get on out the back door before the other comes through the front? Too much work. I rather just be faithful or single." Liz and I both laughed at Xavier. "It's just like with flirting: you can't keep up with flirting with any and everybody because people will eventually catch feelings or something." I said. "Even with that, girls that flirt with a lot of guys will be labeled as a hoe even if they haven't had sex with any of the guys," Liz said. "So true, but if the tables were turned and it was a guy in the girl's shoes, he'd be getting high fives and pats on the back." Xavier agreed with both of our statements.

     Maybe it was just the conversation, but it was easy to conduce that I could definitely get used to the company of Liz and Xavier. What started as a simple statement, lead us to talking about stereotypes and double standards between genders. If a women is too strong, then she is no longer sticking to her role in society. If a guy has multiple sex partners, he is seen as a god to other guys. If a women has multiple sex partners, she is seen as a hoe. There are so many stipulations, yet so few reasons why they exist.

Welcome to the Land of Liberties

Often times I've wondered why stereotypes exist. I seem to come up short, but I was talking to a friend and we agreed that it is more than likely because society has set up "standards", as they say, and we are supposed to uphold them. 

These standards have become chains and while times have changed, some chains have broken and some have grown tighter. 

As the centuries have passed, the  "standards" have changed for the better and for the worse. Women are supposed to act as barefoot housewives in public but are sometimes the sole provider behind closed doors. Men are no longer counted on as the sole provider. Women are now expected to help, if not also pick up the slack if the man isn't. 

Expectations don't necessarily pertain to living arrangements. 

In the earlier years men and women alike weren't known to have multiple partners. That stipulation no longer applies to men but it still sticks for women. For a women to have multiple partners, she becomes known as a hoe, whereas men are upheld as kings for their conquest.

Hopefully no toes will be stepped on with my blog. I won't downplay anything. 

The unabashed view on biases,
Brooke